The Lake House

I had a great conversation with a friend last night about what’s been going on in our lives, and we got going on a tangent about manners.  It seems that we have become increasingly complacent with not only the bad behaviour of others – complete strangers, family members, exes, customer service people – but ourselves.  No one is exempt here.  I will admit (shamefully) that I have, on occasion, not been as nice as I could be to a server in a pub (saying things like “yeah” or “yup” instead of “yes, please”) or even to my own family members.  One thing, however, that was drilled into my malleable brain as a child was the very simple concept of “Please and Thank You”.  What I want to know is why this concept is so damn hard for people to grasp?  Someone does something for you, you say “thank you”.  If you want something from someone, you say “please”.  Now, we are all supposedly intelligent people, so tell me this…have our lives become so self-important and busy that we are not even able to express common courtesies to another human being?

I am not talking about grand, random acts of kindness, but simple daily occurrences where an expression of kindness and courtesy go ignored.  I find myself getting annoyed when I hold a door open for someone or let them in during a traffic jam without so much as an acknowledgment of that gesture.  Now, my mother taught me to give of yourself without the expectation of anything in return, and that is true of giving a gift or doing something nice for someone else like shoveling their sidewalk in winter or treating your bud to a meal or a few pints.  What I do expect, however, is simple acknowledgment of the extension of kindness.  If someone gives you a gift, you are not expected to give a gift in return, but they should expect a “thank you”.   Two simple little words that can make someone’s day when they hear it, or deeply offend if they don’t when one has gone out of their way to be kind to someone else.  I do believe that most people give of themselves in many ways for the simple joy of doing so – without any malice or hidden agenda that there is something in it for them.  Perhaps it is our lack of manners as a society that has dampened that spirit in so many, and why we perceive an epidemic of selfishness instead of selflessness.

Selflessness.

Think about that word for just a moment.  Its a very big word with a very powerful meaning.

The economic climate we all face every day has perpetuated this feeling of “everyone for themselves” and the feeling we have to take care of number one and screw everyone else.  In my mind, in times of strife and struggle for so many, that is the perfect opportunity to relax a little and just be nice.  Let’s pull our head out of our collective butt and take time to remember what it feels like to be nice, and what it feels like when someone is nice to you.  It’s a great feeling.  The really sad reality is that eventually, people get fed up and decide its just not worth giving anymore.  The whole “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” mentality kicks in and the cycle never improves.

So, the next time someone lets you in during a traffic jam, give the little wave in your rear-view mirror.  When someone holds a door open for you, say “thank you”.  When you are sitting at the dinner table with your family or significant other and you want the pepper, say “could you please pass the pepper?”.

This is not rocket science people.

Forrest Gump was right.  Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.  So quit picking through them just to find the good ones for yourself, take a damn chocolate and say “thank you”.

So…

to all of you who took the time out of your busy day to read this, I say…

thank you.