Spring and Some Really Noisy Birds
Posted by Tammy in Random Thoughts on March 7th, 2010
This weekend Spring was readily apparent in the Okanagan, and the beautiful weather brought with it that good old feeling of finally shedding the winter doldrums and embracing a new season. While not my favourite of the seasons (Summer and Fall rank in the top 2), this particular anticipation of the official start of Spring just around the corner is very different for me this year. My reality is not at all where I expected to be, but there are fantastic possibilities and the fulfillment of a long-time dream in store for me. On March 15th I am FINALLY launching my very own Boot Camp, completely outdoors in my hometown. This is combined with another goal to obtain my full fitness certification to not only live my own healthy lifestyle, but to help others do the same! For me, that is worth looking forward to.
Where the birds come in is that when I was outside today getting back from a glorious outdoor workout, I noticed that there were a ton of little birds all around my Lake House making all kinds of noise. The chirping sounds have been starting for a little bit now, but nothing like the onslaught of bird activity that took place today. It is one of those things that just makes you smile and be thankful that you are alive. I spent the Winter in emotional hibernation, and today I started to feel like one of those little birds, ready to be heard and spread my wings to embrace this amazing transformation to a new season and an improved self. All of this will help me in my journey to accomplishing a fitness goal that I have had for quite some time now (it shall remain a secret for now) and pushing myself beyond where I ever thought I could be. I had hoped to fulfill this end goal with my life’s love, but doing it on my own will be my greatest achievement.
I can hardly wait to see how this turns out.
Healing
Posted by Tammy in Random Thoughts on January 31st, 2010
It has been said ‘time heals all wounds’…I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
~ Rose Kennedy ~
How many times throughout our lives have we heard this saying, “time heals all wounds”? I’m sure if I had a nickle for each, I would be a rich woman. Rose had it right…dead on. Wounds we thought were long forgotten – buried – have a way of rising to the surface at any given moment. Perhaps a song, a smell, or a place from our past can at once bring us to the joy of the moment we experienced and the overwhelming pain and sadness that we feel with the loss of it all. There is not a one of us who has not experienced some type of loss, and for the most part, we carry on in our daily lives, forging ahead as we have no choice but to do – for the alternative is unspeakable. Just when you think you are doing well, getting on with things, we can be snapped back into the reality of our pain as if no time had passed at all.
So, what do we do about it?
The most valuable of life’s lessons are learned in the classes that were the hardest to take. We try to belittle our sadness and pain by saying things like “there are people worse off”, and to some extent, that is always true. We cannot spend our days wallowing in the sadness and despair of others less fortunate, for if we did, I submit it would be hard for most of us to get out of bed each day, let alone function with some sense of normalcy. If you are sick, rest assured there is someone sicker; if you suffer heartbreak, you can bet there is someone out there suffering more deeply than you. Indulging in these thoughts, for a brief moment, can also be healing – lets us know that we are not alone and that from our own personal tragedies, we can rejoice in the healing that will eventually come for all of us.
Healing…
…it is a very personal and unique journey that each of us must travel. Making that journey – and reaching the final destination – is what defines us. What I have learned is that we must respect that journey in each other, even if we may not agree with it. That is the beauty of human beings – we all have our own way of dealing…of “healing”…and there is truly no right or wrong way. As with any road trip worth taking, the most important thing you can have along the way is the love and support of those closest to you. It is for those that have no one that I feel the most pain and sadness for.
Sometimes in the journey of healing, we find what we were seeking all along in the comfort of helping someone who is less fortunate than we are.
I still believe in humankind…and I believe that before our journey ends, we will all find a way to heal ourselves and each other.
Destiny
Posted by Tammy in Random Thoughts on January 20th, 2010
Do you believe in destiny?
I do.
Fate, destiny, fortune. It has many disguises but its essence is still the same. All you have to do is a Define: search on Google and you will get an array of responses (define: destiny):
Destiny: an event (or a course of events) that will inevitably happen in the future
Fortune: your overall circumstances or condition in life (including everything that happens to you); “whatever my fortune may be”; “deserved a better fate”; “has a happy lot”; “the luck of the Irish”; “a victim of circumstances”; “success that was her portion”
Regardless of which definition you subscribe to, if you believe in destiny, then you must be of the mindset that everything happens for a reason. And if you are of this mindset, then you also believe that there is no such thing as coincidence.
Your mind is blown, so let that sink in for a minute.
Our choices and mistakes are what make our destiny and chart the course of our lives. We all know that hindsight is 20/20, which is why they call it “hind” sight. How many of us waste time on “coulda, woulda, shoulda” each and every day when faced with adversity. When good things happen, when we are happy and successful, healthy and in love, we don’t question the choices or mistakes we made that brought us to this good place.
We are living in the moment.
When we are faced with adversity, sickness and heartbreak, the questions we ask are relentless and self-deprecating.
The thing about Destiny is that we have no idea of knowing what that means for each of us. I cannot change my destiny because I have no idea what it is. Sometimes we are able to recognize a pattern in our lives that seem to dictate what life’s end game may be, and I question it all the time. I have learned the hard way that destiny has a funny way of playing tricks on you, and just when you think you can see what’s at the end of the path, where you will end up, you come to a corner that you never expected, an obstacle that you must overcome.
Destiny.
Lately, I have been doing my best to try to live in the moment. Now, I don’t mean by being an irresponsible flake, but instead by trying not to focus on the past or predict the future. All I can do is get up each day, be thankful that I am healthy, have a roof over my head, have food in the fridge to nourish me, and am blessed with the love of friends and family that will never let me down; try to let go of the people that have hurt and disappointed me. Today could be all I have – all any of us has – and the best laid plans for tomorrow could be shot down in flames in an instant. Regardless of whether we veer off course, zig when we should’ve zagged, we will all inevitably fulfill our destiny. Some people seem to think they have it figured out, but you can’t change a future that hasn’t happened yet.
Every circumstance in life offers us the opportunity to learn something, even from the most dire of circumstances. You don’t always see it right away, and I can certainly attest to this as many of us can, but with each circumstance, we learn something about who we are and what we are capable of. Sometimes it surprises us. Sometimes its something we wish we had never learned, but our life lessons shape who we are and where we are going.
The answers aren’t always obvious, and there are some that will never come no matter how badly we want them.
Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him. ~ Henry Miller ~
Where Have All the Manners Gone?
Posted by Tammy in The Human Condition on January 18th, 2010
I had a great conversation with a friend last night about what’s been going on in our lives, and we got going on a tangent about manners. It seems that we have become increasingly complacent with not only the bad behaviour of others – complete strangers, family members, exes, customer service people – but ourselves. No one is exempt here. I will admit (shamefully) that I have, on occasion, not been as nice as I could be to a server in a pub (saying things like “yeah” or “yup” instead of “yes, please”) or even to my own family members. One thing, however, that was drilled into my malleable brain as a child was the very simple concept of “Please and Thank You”. What I want to know is why this concept is so damn hard for people to grasp? Someone does something for you, you say “thank you”. If you want something from someone, you say “please”. Now, we are all supposedly intelligent people, so tell me this…have our lives become so self-important and busy that we are not even able to express common courtesies to another human being?
I am not talking about grand, random acts of kindness, but simple daily occurrences where an expression of kindness and courtesy go ignored. I find myself getting annoyed when I hold a door open for someone or let them in during a traffic jam without so much as an acknowledgment of that gesture. Now, my mother taught me to give of yourself without the expectation of anything in return, and that is true of giving a gift or doing something nice for someone else like shoveling their sidewalk in winter or treating your bud to a meal or a few pints. What I do expect, however, is simple acknowledgment of the extension of kindness. If someone gives you a gift, you are not expected to give a gift in return, but they should expect a “thank you”. Two simple little words that can make someone’s day when they hear it, or deeply offend if they don’t when one has gone out of their way to be kind to someone else. I do believe that most people give of themselves in many ways for the simple joy of doing so – without any malice or hidden agenda that there is something in it for them. Perhaps it is our lack of manners as a society that has dampened that spirit in so many, and why we perceive an epidemic of selfishness instead of selflessness.
Selflessness.
Think about that word for just a moment. Its a very big word with a very powerful meaning.
The economic climate we all face every day has perpetuated this feeling of “everyone for themselves” and the feeling we have to take care of number one and screw everyone else. In my mind, in times of strife and struggle for so many, that is the perfect opportunity to relax a little and just be nice. Let’s pull our head out of our collective butt and take time to remember what it feels like to be nice, and what it feels like when someone is nice to you. It’s a great feeling. The really sad reality is that eventually, people get fed up and decide its just not worth giving anymore. The whole “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” mentality kicks in and the cycle never improves.
So, the next time someone lets you in during a traffic jam, give the little wave in your rear-view mirror. When someone holds a door open for you, say “thank you”. When you are sitting at the dinner table with your family or significant other and you want the pepper, say “could you please pass the pepper?”.
This is not rocket science people.
Forrest Gump was right. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. So quit picking through them just to find the good ones for yourself, take a damn chocolate and say “thank you”.
So…
to all of you who took the time out of your busy day to read this, I say…
thank you.
Puppy Love
Posted by Tammy in Happy Puppy on January 16th, 2010
You know the stupid saying “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade”? Well, where is the brilliant saying to use when life hands you a big pile of crap? I suppose it could be “when life hands you crap, use it as fertilizer and grow some damn lemons!”. At this point, many of you are wondering WTF does any of this has to do with Puppy Love? Okay, I’ll tell you.
Since I seem to be having zero luck on the full-time employment front, I contacted a friend of mine who started a great website and dog walking service down on the Mainland several months back. For competitive reasons, it did not go according to plan. My friend (we shall call her “Nomes”) was kind enough to basically hand me the site and all files, pat me on the back and wish me luck with it. This was the perfect scenario for me because she did all the heavy lifting already (thanks babe!) and should I get business out of this, I will be sure to treat her to something special. All I had to do was make changes to the site and bada-bing! I now have a dog walking service.
Now I just need some four-legged clients.
For those of you that live in my area, please tell everyone you know about Happy Puppy Dog Walking (notice the cameo of Kozmo on the Services page). I hope to have the flyers done for early next week so I can visit the local doggy businesses to promote this service. Not only is this a great way to get exercise, but I get to hang out with pooches.
Check out the site and follow us on Twitter
Longing for Nostalgia
Posted by Tammy in Random Thoughts on January 12th, 2010
Call me crazy, but with the holidays over and the New Year under way, I got to thinking about how we communicate with each other. I heard an interesting debate on the local AM station the other day about Canada Post raising its rates (again) and whether or not people really give a crap. I mean, who sends letters and cards anymore anyway? I’ll tell you who – old people. Now, that is not meant as a slant or to be disrespectful in any way, but it is true. Our elders come from a time where if you wanted to get in touch with someone, you wrote a letter or made a phone call (on a rotary phone with no call waiting or Caller ID). It was a time when communication was done in person (What? Actually go out in public, you say?) and cell phones and texting did not exist. In a technical world, I am as big a geek as anyone and a definite supporter of the “online” way of doing things – cards, letters, social media – but I find myself longing for a time when I would get something other than a bill or junk in my mailbox. A nice, old-fashioned piece of mail where someone actually took the time to use a pen and paper, put a stamp on it, and drop it in a mailbox. Be honest. How excited do you get (if even a little) when you go to the mailbox and find a card or letter from someone special in your life? I know I do.
I am no saint in this area, believe me. Sure, email is faster, more cost-efficient and easier when you are loaded with a laptop and Blackberry, but a personal hand-written note is like nothing else. So, here is my commitment for the month of January in the dawn of a New Year and decade…I am going to write AT LEAST five letters or cards this month. Yep, you heard me – five!
Ambitious? Maybe.
Doable? Definitely.
I was smart enough to buy Permanent Stamps from Canada Post which I recommend everyone do (to avoid the pain-in-the-butt price hikes), and plan to use some of them this month. I challenge all my friends and family to do the same. Pour a glass of wine, make a cup of tea or whatever, sit your ass down with some paper and a pen, and write. It doesn’t have to be War and Peace, but give it a go. You may find the break from the computer a welcome indulgence. So, I challenge all those who read this post to pick five people to send “snail mail” to this month. Post your comments to let me know how you made out.
I can tell you how many cards I got in the mail for my birthday this year – TWO! And do you know who they were from? My aunties. That’s right – old people.
I rest my case.
P.S.
As of the completion of this post, I have one down. Four to go…
With Love for Shylo
Posted by Tammy in Best Friends on December 28th, 2009
He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me… whenever… wherever – in case I need him. And I expect I will – as I always have. He is just my dog. ~ Gene Hill ~
Today, my best friend and her family were faced with the harsh reality that many dog owners must inevitably face – the time had come to put an end to the suffering of their best friend and family member. Shylo had battled cancer for the last two years like a warrior, and lived much longer than any of us expected, but to meet him and spend any time in his presence, you would never know he was sick. From the time he was brought into the home as a puppy, Shylo was a ball of joy, love, and happiness. At his healthiest he was over 100 pounds and was what I like to call “a little dog trapped in a big dog’s body”. If you let him, he would happily crawl up onto your lap no matter where you sat. He snored when he slept with you in the bed and was most definitely a bed hog. I know this because I snuck him in to sleep with me many years ago when I stayed with Tim and Wendy (caught big heck for that one too, but it was worth it). If given the choice between a treat and cuddles, he most surely would choose the cuddles, but always knew the treat would soon follow. Shylo loved his walks in the woods, truck rides, and just being around people. Most of all, he loved his family. He was gentle, rarely barked and tolerated all the little ankle biters that would visit the house wanting to play with him, while he just wanted to relax and enjoy his surroundings.
I had the privilege of sharing Shylo’s last week while I was dog sitting for my BFF and her family, and in my heart I knew it was only a matter of time. He waited for his family to come home before he decided he just couldn’t do it any longer, and we were there when he took his last breath this afternoon. He went peacefully with those who loved him the most at his side. Many would say “it’s just a dog”, and I believe those people have never experienced the unconditional love and pure joy that a dog brings to your life. They heal and comfort just by their mere presence, and all they expect in return is to be taken care of and loved. For me, the hardest part of Shylo’s death was seeing and knowing that a small piece of my best friends also died today. For a long time, the house will not be the same, but as with anything, life will go on.
Goodbye Shylo…I love you so very much and will miss your presence every time I visit. You were with me through my sadness over this holiday season and for that I will always be grateful. Rest peacefully my friend, and know that you will be remembered with love, laughter, and thoughtfulness always.
Traditions Lost
Posted by Tammy in Random Thoughts on December 28th, 2009
I was driving back to The Lake House last night after a nice, relaxing trip to The Spa at the Cove for a quick 30-minute massage with my Mom (my Christmas gift to her) when I took notice of something unusual, at least to me. Maybe I noticed it more this year because I was in a very bah-humbug mood over the holidays, but not many people seem to put up Christmas lights anymore. I remember when I was a kid, every house on the street would have lights on the outside, those cheesy, huge coloured lights – certainly nothing like the fancy “icicle lights” of today – and there was a tree in almost every window (real, not fake). It was a pretty big deal. Christmas was about being with tons of family and friends, feasting on delicious food and drinking rum and egg nog and other beverages typically only reserved for the holiday season. We didn’t spend a shitload of money on presents that do nothing but detract us from human contact, and everything just seemed to go a lot slower and actually had some kind of meaning. Now, everyone is so damn busy, we all spend way too much, and the tradition of the festive dinner with family seems to have gone by the wayside for many of us. This time of year used to bring everyone home – families separated by distance, old friends making the trek home to spend the holidays with family and catch up with long-lost buds at the local pub. Now everyone does their own thing and its all getting disjointed and empty.
This year, Christmas for me was truly miserable and happy to say I am glad its over. Never in my life did I ever think I would utter those words, let alone even think them because I happen to LOVE Christmas. This year, I did not love it. So many things have changed in my world in the past six months, and this Christmas hit me in the face with the hard realization that the traditions I have come to love and cherish and look forward to in my life have significantly changed. Some are perhaps gone forever. What I would truly love to see is a Christmas where you make a special gift for the people you love (this year I did a memory book for someone and some picture frames with amazing photos I have taken for another person), stop the extravagant spending, and have a huge, festive potluck dinner with family and friends all gathered together. Find some way to help others and give back to those that truly have nothing.
What I have learned from this year, I suppose, is that new traditions need to be forged along the way, even if you do it kicking and screaming the entire time. As for next year, I can’t think that far ahead right now, but I do hope when the time comes I will find some new tradition to put the joy and true meaning back into Christmas for me, and that would be a really good place to start.
